Wait, what?

     Good afternoon, I know you are signing on to read about me and my journey with my leg, but if you will indulge me for just a minute or two. Here in the U.S. Thanksgiving Day is fast approaching and this year for the first time in 18 years there will be only three of us at our table and even as I type this the tears are forming in the corner of my eyes and the sobs bubble up and out. Our son will not be there this year or ever again. He took his own life just over a month ago and now painfully we are going through a bunch of first. I know that he walks the streets of heaven now, but the hurt is still here and selfishly I wish he was still with us. Okay, thank you for letting me write about this.

   Now onto my other journey. Last time I wrote about the pin sticking out of my foot and the doctor not being happy with what she saw. I guess my foot and ankle were not looking to good, of course I never thought my feet looked all that great anyway. They are just plain old big feet. Because of what she saw she scheduled surgery the next week and so we were at the hospital bight and early on Monday morning for check in and then it was wait and wait and wait. I'm not complaining because I was laying down and napped off and on even with the sensors hooked up to me. But I can sleep anywhere.

   Finally after a couple of nerve block shots I was rolled back to the OR. I knew this time things were going to be different because they put me all the way under and I mean deep under after about 5 minutes I didn't remember anything until they rolled me out of the OR and even then I was still out of it. I remember a worried look on Gayla's face and the doctor talking in somber tones. Something definitely wasn't right, and then there was talk of infection and we'd talk later when I was more awake, oh yeah the word amputation was mentioned. The nurses from OR took us up to our room. It was on the floor where I had spent 6 day after the first surgery and so we saw all our friends. Our doctor and some others showed up and said something about amputation and I cracked dumb joke quoting from Mary Poppins, maybe you remember the scene where Bert says, "I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith." And Mary's uncle said, "what was the name of the other leg." Yes, a you had to be there moment and definitely a dad joke.

   The next day Doc showed up and we talked and after finding out sure enough I had infection in my foot and leg it was time to seriously talk about options. My options were to keep my foot and try and fight the infection - not really a winning scenario. I could have my foot taken off at the ankle, but doc assured me I'd be back to have more taken off and so on and so forth. Or I could have my leg amputated about 4 or 5 inches below the knee and be done with it. Of course I was worried because I had been told that once they started cutting they didn't stop until they had the whole leg. Doc. assured me that that wasn't the case, and that my leg was in good shape where she wanted to cut. Knowing we couldn't afford it and that I didn't want to go through more surgeries than I had to, I said go for it. 

   I came in on Monday expecting screws and plates and Gayla was told they wouldn't hold and that there was infection in my foot. The only real options were to amputate and where to do it. Gayla reached out to our family, church family, and friends that night as I slept. The next day we had a visit from two pastor friends and a member of our church where I pastor. It was great to talk with them and have our spirits bolstered. The best thing was being bathed in their prayers, we were now ready to face what ever came.

   It was now Wednesday and once more I was being prepped for surgery and once more put deep under. When I came to I was short of just under half of my right my leg. The bad thing this time, I felt the pain. On the other hand the good thing was that I felt pain. You see with all that they did to my foot and leg the only pain I felt was up where two bones were broke. This time there were times when they would ask on a scale of 1 to 10 what is your pain level and I would answer 11 or 12. 

   Life was defiantly going to be different now. 

   Next time adjusting to life in a wheelchair at least for now. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13. The "him" is Jesus Christ and it is on Him that I am leaning. It's not always easy, as a matter of fact sometimes it downright hard, and near impossible and then I remember my Lord Jesus on whom I'm leaning and all He has done for me. And, I've gotta tell ya, Gayla and I feel those prayers of all who are lifting us up and all that is going on with us.
        

Well, That's not Good

 

      If you remember this is what my leg looked like after my first surgery. They did this because they were worried about infection in my foot and ankle. I broke my fibula and tibia about two or three inches above my ankle. Instead of infection it was a case of Chacot Foot, that is a softening of the bones in my foot. 

   After just one day short of a week in the hospital I was sent home with orders to keep my foot elevated and to stay off of it all the time, which I did most of the time. I did try to use the walker a couple of time to walk with without success, as a matter of fact I almost crashed really bad trying to get into the bathroom. I started to fall backwards and out of habit I planted my right foot down pretty hard. 

   The other thing about this apparatus was that it had to be unwrapped every two days and the heel pin openings, the 3 in. or so stapled wound, and around the top two screws. This involved first unwrapping ace bandages, then gauze, and then cleaning the entry points with iodine then this moist type tape to seal it. and then a pad over the wound. Then it was back on with the gauze and ace bandages. Gayla got to where she could do it all in under 40 minutes.

   Now back to the hard step. It wasn't long after that happened that Gayla noticed the tip of a pin sticking out of my ankle. There wasn't very much of it just the tip, but it was enough to make her almost faint. Me I didn't feel a thing, it was in the nephropathy zone on my foot. That was on a Sunday and we had a Tuesday appointment so we let it slide until then. When we got to the doctor's office they took me into x-ray. While I was in there I had several people come in to take a look, they were all surprised I was so calm and felt no pain. Sure enough the x-ray showed that one of the pins in my foot to try and support my ankle had started coming out.

  In the examining room the doctor and the P.A. came in and took a look at the pin tip and the x-ray. Again they asked me on a scale of 1 to 10 what my pain was and I said zero. The doctor got a set of forceps to pull it out and I told her I thought there was so little sticking out she oughta just knock it back in. She didn't think that was very funny and told me they never put things back in like that because of chance of infection. Time now to pull the pin, Gayla who was already looking queezey left the room and then the doc. got down to business. It didn't take much to pull the pin out, just a short pull and it was out. My pain level was still 0 and I thought it was cool watching them pull it out, of course it wasn't that long only about two inches, maybe three. 

   On our visit the next week after my customary x-ray we saw the doctor and she didn't look to happy. She didn't look to happy as she visited with us, and I told Gayla so. I think that Doc. already knew what was going on, but they went ahead and scheduled me for surgery the next week to take the apparatus out and try and pin my two bones or so I thought.

   Next time on to the journey takes an unexpected twist. Until then remember Psalms 34:18 - The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.        

When It Rains It Pours or Does It?

    Good evening. I know it has been awhile since I blogged about my journey in this new phase of my life. Actually my wife and I have experienced a lot in the last four months. Let me tell you I use to praise the Lord that our life had for the most part been trouble free. Oh sure there were the little things like pulled backs, infected knees, and bad hammer toe. But you know nothing really bad, but then I broke two bones in my leg and started on the journey I've been writing about. 

   And then like I posted last week my son, our youngest child at just barely 19 years old took his own life. Now some would say when it rains it pours and to be honest with you I would agree with them if I didn't know that no matter what God is still there with His arms of comfort wrapped tightly around my wife, my daughter, and myself. Does this mean that the tears don't fall freely or that my heart doesn't hurt knowing that I won't see my baby boy in this life any more? No way, nope, ain't happening. I constantly cry out to God, "I miss my boy! Oh God, why?" But here's the thing like Paul tells the church in Thessalonica, 1 Thessalonians 4:14 ~ We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. Also we have the assurance to be absent from the body is to be in the presence of the LORD, Christ Jesus and some day we will see our son once more and when we do he will be in his new and restored body. As for now he is in heaven, a place of no tears, sorrow, pain, and no death; walking with his Granddad, Grammy, and with his Grandpa. So again pain beyond all I could bare, but not beyond the comforting arms of God.

   Okay, now back to the first part of this journey that I am traveling in this time in my life. I believe last time I had finally made it home and into the house. Boy was my home life about to change big time. With the apparatus attached with a long bar and two screws to my right leg I was bed ridden or riding a couch. I had to keep the the whole thing elevated or my toes would turn the unlovest shade of purple. A big disclaimer here, sitting with your leg up on three pillows isn't as comfortable as it sounds. The leg that high starts to put undue pressure on one's bottom and lower back even while sitting on a chair pad and very soft pillow.

   Sure I could try and get into the wheelchair (a chore in and of itself), but again my foot had to be elevated and my chair leg didn't really go high enough. What this meant was that I could only sit in my chair for about 30 minutes at a time. 

   Being confined to the bed or the couch or a potty chair also put a big dampener on taking care of the basics, nough said. This and the doctor visits an hour and a half away every week was my life for four weeks. On a lighter note I did get better at getting in the back seat, well not better; but a little quicker. It still was a painful ride after about 40 minutes, but with wiggling and shifting it was not quite as unbearable. And on an even better note we got to go through the McDonald's drive through for lunch and my wife got to go to a Wal-mart, that's right two of her favorite places. 

   Next time pin problems in my foot and a not so happy looking doctor. Until then may the Lord bless and keep you.   

Heartbroken

     Y'all may have noticed I haven't posted anything in a few weeks. Three weeks ago today our 19 year old son committed suicide. We are not sure why he did and I don't think we will ever know why he did it. So now our baby boy is in heaven with the Lord, but we miss him here with us and we are still dealing with the grief and the hurt. Now you know why and I hope to continue post about my journey with my leg next week. 

Home Again, Home Again...

   Good evening and welcome. In case you haven't look at the other two post of this story let me give you a quick version. I broke my fibula and my tibia, they couldn't put in plates and screws like they normally would. This led to a bar through my heel, two screws going down in to my leg, and a couple of pins in my ankle or there abouts. And so the next chapter of my journey was about to begin. After a week in the hospital and no infection it was time to say goodbye to the great staff at Moore County hospital and head home. 

   Now remember this is what my right foot looked like so a lot was about to change.

   The first big change, getting into the car. This should have been an easy thing right? Little did I know what I was in for. I had been told to stay off my foot and to keep it elevated, and just how I was going to this while riding in the car I had no idea. Gayla and the red team had gone down and scoped things out the day before so they had a plan, I just didn't understand it. We got down to the car and the wheeled the wheelchair up to the back door and now the fun began, not. Picture this a 290 + pound guy with hardware in his leg trying to hop, jump, and pivot on one foot and that was just to get to the door and sit on the seat. Now that I was seated I had to swivel my leg with all the hardware in it and slide across the back seat so that I could prop my leg up on an ice chest, various pillows, and blankets all the while trying to get comfortable (that wasn't happening). 

   The next stop Wal-mart and then McDonald. From there the forever ride from Dumas TX to our house, just a short hour and a half away. Man talk about pain, no matter how I shifted I could make that seat, or my backside feel comfortable and half way between Dalhart and our house it felt as if I were on some medieval torture device. Finally we were home and just my wife and I had to figure how to get me out of the car again not a simple task.

   Out of the car and do we go up the ramp frontwards or backwards? By the way praise the Lord for the church member who lent me her husband's wheelchair and for the ramp in to house. Next question can my wheelchair get through the kitchen door and once in how hard will it be to get out? Well needless to say we were able to get into the house (by going up backwards) and back out of the house. 

  We had people asking us how we were doing and adjusting. The answers was always or almost always the same we were adjusting well, we had to. How were we doing? Well praise the Lord I had no real feeling in my foot, so no real pain there. Up on my leg there was occasional pain but low dose pain pills helped with that. All I can say is that the Lord was working things out in ways we couldn't even begin to imagine. You know our Lord really does work things together for good (Romans 8:25).  

    We were finally home again now what? What was life going to be like now?         

The First Surgery

    Good evening and welcome to this account of my unexpected journey, and no I'm not talking about hobbits. A quick recap - I fell and fractured my fibula and tibia and after several days working in the yard they snapped. After a visit to our local clinic I found out that they were broken. 

   The P.A. at our clinic got us set up for me to see an orthopedic surgeon. So, the next day we drove down about an hour and half to consult with the surgeon and after several x-rays she agree with the P.A., sure enough I had a broken fibula and tibia but it shouldn't be to hard to fix. A plate attached to the broken end held in place by screws and I should be good to go. In my case famous last words.

   My wife and I went down to Dumas and took a room the night before the surgery, that way if it was early we wouldn't have to leave about 4:00 in the morning. It turned out we had an afternoon time slot and the Doc. got held up in surgery. so it was about 3:00 when I went back. I am 63 and I have never had surgery other than to have teeth cut out so I had no idea what to expect. Sure enough I got back there and had to get into one of those famous or infamous hospital gowns. Luckily they actually had one that fit, and I was grateful for that because it was all I had on. Soon the nurses were putting patches to attach monitors to me and then there were a boatload of questions and papers to sign. 

   After all this it was the anesthesiologist's turn. He came in and explained that they could do one of three things. They could knock me out all the way, they could give me a spinal block, or the could give me nerve blocks in my leg. I opted for just the leg block, but because of a low respiration rate I got a spinal block also and it hurt just like everyone said it did. They did an ultrasound of my leg to make sure they deadened the right nerves and then it was off to surgery.

   I was awake for part of it, but I have what my wife calls a sleeping super power. I can fall asleep just about anywhere if I'm laying or sitting still so I dosed off and on during the surgery. When I finally came out of surgery boy was I surprised. I didn't have plates and screws in my leg, but a rod through my heel a couple of pins in my foot and a couple of screws coming out of my leg just above my ankle. 

 

    They told me had something call Charcot Foot and a possible infection in my foot so plans had changed. Charcot Foot is damage to your foot when you’ve lost feeling in your feet and ankles. It can make injuries or infections much more serious. This led to a hospital stay of just over a week and 6 days of an antibiotic drip changed out at 4 a.m., this was followed up by my blood being drawn around 4:30 every morning and all the other stuff the nurses and nurses aids had to do through out the day and night. 

   But as uncomfortable as it could have been it wasn't so bad. My wife and I were constantly thanking the Lord for the staff of the hospital, they were awesome. You'd thought I was the only patient on the floor. And all the jokes about hospital food proved unfounded. We ate great food, maybe not enough of it, but good food. The guys that brought us our  meals were great an even got us set up to get a meal for my wife. The Lord truly blessed my time in surgery and our time in the hospital. Plus because of the Charcot there was no pain in my foot, and just pain every once in a while in my leg. 

   I praise God who truly is the author of all things. And while I had no idea what would happen next I had all the faith in the world that God had already seen what would happen and He was in total control. 

Next time finally at home and all kinds of changes. Until then the Lord bless and keep you and I pray you find some encouragement in this.    

A Journey - The Beginning

    Good morning, it has been awhile since I posted anything, and to be honest I don't know how many people will read this or still read blogs at all. I know that vlogs, and tic-tocs are the thing now. But I am a writer and I definitely am not all that good "on camera." 

   This next series of blogs are a bit of a departure from what I have normally done in the past. In the past I would post Bible Studies or something related to a Bible Study. But here in the last couple of months I have had a major change in my life and I wanted to write about it. Who knows maybe it will be inspirational to someone, or maybe it will let someone know they are not alone in an experience like this. I hope and pray that you will feel free to give me feedback as you read these post. Maybe just as important it posting let's me work through what I am going through. 

   Okay, now the beginning of this journey. I am big guy, 6' 3" and at the start of all of this I weighed in about 325 lbs. I am in pretty good shape for the shape I'm in. I was pretty active, driving a school bus, helping with After School Bible Club as well as other duties a single staff pastor has. I do suffer from diabetes and although not directly responsible for my current state it has contributed to it. 

   The parsonage we live in is on a large size lot with lots of trees and bushes. During the fall, winter, and spring we usually gather the branches and that fall and trimmings done and pile them in two places on our property. Then in the summer we collect the brush and haul them to the brush pile of one of the members of the church. It was during this brush hauling time that this new journey in my life was about to begin. 

   We had already hauled about four or five pick-up loads of brush, trimmings, and weeds to the brush pile and were actually finishing up on what was to be the last load of the summer. I was pulling on a branch of Russian Thistle that ended up being longer than I thought. The branch got hung up in the tree and as I turned to get a better pull on the branch my feet got tangled in the under brush and I went down twisting and having the branch fall on me. I was a little sore, but I pulled myself up and finished loading the pick-up with that last load and then took it and dumped it. I didn't know it at the time but this was the beginning of a major change in my life. 

   The day after my fall my wife and I worked in the yard finishing some mowing and raking small twigs and branches into our compost pile. I did some mowing a couple of days later, it was some hard mowing - waist high weeds and on an incline. The next day I didn't do much because my right ankle hurt. On Wednesday I was going to help my wife do some more yard work, but I couldn't get my sock on my foot so I went and took a morning shower. When I stepped out of the shower I heard a pop and and almost collapsed in pain. I was able to get into the doctor that afternoon, but me being me I had my wife take me to get a haircut appointment that I had scheduled. Then on to my doctors appointment where I found out I had a broken Fibula and Tibia. I had more than likely fractured them when I had my initial fall and aggravated them with the work I did. 

In the next post I'm sent to an orthopedic surgeon and I learn about something call Charcot Foot.