Showers, Shrinkers and A New Leg

 

   Good afternoon, for those who are looking at my blog for the first time, for the about the past month I've been posting about a big change in my life. I had an accident and broke my fibula and tibia just above my ankle. I had a surgery, the first major surgery I ever had; on my leg and it didn't work like it was suppose to. The doc was doing everything she could to fix my bones but it just didn't take hold, and the dreaded infection showed up. To save the leg and to keep from having more surgeries the doc. took my leg about 5 inches below the knee.

  Now I was one and 3/4 legged and confined to a wheelchair or a walker for mobility. It was going to take some time to get use to. For example no longer could I get up and take a morning shower, bathroom doors to narrow and no walk or in my case roll in shower stall. We borrowed a shower bench from a friend who had had his leg amputated in about the same spot about 8 months before. We have become a one legged support group in our part of the county. Back to the shower story, now showers consist of my wife putting down several towels and the folded plastic part of an old shower curtain. We also had to buy a new shower head, we had to get one that had a handheld shower wand. Then I pull up to the door with my wheelchair and then switch over to the walker, because my chair won't fit through the door. I scoot and hope that I stay balanced and so far praise the Lord I haven't fallen, I did come close once and that was scary. So all told a shower now is kind of a big production that takes about 45 minutes to an hour. Other things have changed, but with the Lord's help I'm adjusting.

   After a month after my leg was amputated I started the next chapter in this journey, my orthopedic surgeon connected us with a place in Amarillo that makes prosthetics. Wow, I was on my way to getting a new leg, and it all started with a pantyhose. No not really, it just looks like one; it is actually called a shrinker and it forces the fluids back up my leg to keep fluid from building up in my stump. A bunch of measurements, discussion about the whole process, and visiting with one of the guys who makes the legs and we were just about done for the day. Oh yeah, the guy who we visited with and who builds the legs has a prosthetic leg, cool right? We we left excited and with two shrinkers and a big piece of PVC tubing needed to put the shrinker on. 

   More next time about my experience with getting a new leg. In the mean time remember when your going through hard times God is near and He will be with you if you will allow Him, He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalms 147:3).

 

Settling In To A Not New Norm

    I want to start out today by saying thank you to all who have like my dad served in our military and to all those who still are.

   If you have been following my blog you'll remember that because of a  broken fibula and tibia and charcot I had to have an operation on my lower right leg. If you are new to this blog welcome and now you know how my journey of readjustment began. The attempt to mend the two bones didn't go as planned, I got infection in my foot and ankle, this led to a pretty serious decision. I could try and fight the infection and try and save my leg, but the bones wouldn't hold the plates and screws. I could let them take my foot and ankle and then more than likely take more of my leg later or I could start fresh with an area of good bone and blood flow. To me and Gayla the answers was pretty simple and straight forward, take the leg about 4 or 5 inches below my knee. Again by doing this there was almost no chance of infection setting in because of good bone and good blood flow. Gayla told me that the doctor told her that some people become so obsessed with saving their leg that it becomes kind of like their god. I wasn't going to let that happen and I sure didn't want to keep going through more surgeries than I had to. A little off my leg and my life, it was a no brainier as far as I was concerned.

   Surgery, recovery, and about a week in the hospital again. Can you believe it, I went from never having had any surgeries to having three within a month and two within three days. Now that everything checked out it was time for me to be released from the hospital and to say goodbye to all our friends - the great staff- and head home. One of the best things about this time was that I got to sit in the front seat again, you see I didn't have a foot and lower leg that I had to keep elevated any more. 

   Once home it didn't take me long to realize that I was no longer bed or couch bound. That and once I got my handy dandy gripper I could do more things. When our son was a live he teased me about getting under foot, and being more of a hindrance than a help. The thing is, I didn't hear Gayla disagreeing, actually I think I made her more nervous than anything. But we both started settling into this new life style. 

      It felt good to be able to get out and about, I even liked shopping with Gayla. The only thing that bothered me was I couldn't get out the door on my own or back up our ramp on my own or could I? I kept eyeing the ramp and telling Gayla, "I think I can do it." Finally after about three weeks I went down the ramp by myself and it was a little scary and so I didn't try it again for awhile. Now I go down by myself and if the door is propped open I can back up the ramp and into the house on my own. FREEDOM! 

   Losing my leg was nothing compared to the death of our son, but God's Word tells me, The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalms 34:18). While I struggle with only one and a half legs and morn the untimely death of our son I give thanks for God's promises, Christ Jesus' sacrifice, and the Holy Spirit's guidance. Is life easy? Not by a long shot, but it's easier than it could be because of my faith and trust in God and His mercies.

Wait, what?

     Good afternoon, I know you are signing on to read about me and my journey with my leg, but if you will indulge me for just a minute or two. Here in the U.S. Thanksgiving Day is fast approaching and this year for the first time in 18 years there will be only three of us at our table and even as I type this the tears are forming in the corner of my eyes and the sobs bubble up and out. Our son will not be there this year or ever again. He took his own life just over a month ago and now painfully we are going through a bunch of first. I know that he walks the streets of heaven now, but the hurt is still here and selfishly I wish he was still with us. Okay, thank you for letting me write about this.

   Now onto my other journey. Last time I wrote about the pin sticking out of my foot and the doctor not being happy with what she saw. I guess my foot and ankle were not looking to good, of course I never thought my feet looked all that great anyway. They are just plain old big feet. Because of what she saw she scheduled surgery the next week and so we were at the hospital bight and early on Monday morning for check in and then it was wait and wait and wait. I'm not complaining because I was laying down and napped off and on even with the sensors hooked up to me. But I can sleep anywhere.

   Finally after a couple of nerve block shots I was rolled back to the OR. I knew this time things were going to be different because they put me all the way under and I mean deep under after about 5 minutes I didn't remember anything until they rolled me out of the OR and even then I was still out of it. I remember a worried look on Gayla's face and the doctor talking in somber tones. Something definitely wasn't right, and then there was talk of infection and we'd talk later when I was more awake, oh yeah the word amputation was mentioned. The nurses from OR took us up to our room. It was on the floor where I had spent 6 day after the first surgery and so we saw all our friends. Our doctor and some others showed up and said something about amputation and I cracked dumb joke quoting from Mary Poppins, maybe you remember the scene where Bert says, "I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith." And Mary's uncle said, "what was the name of the other leg." Yes, a you had to be there moment and definitely a dad joke.

   The next day Doc showed up and we talked and after finding out sure enough I had infection in my foot and leg it was time to seriously talk about options. My options were to keep my foot and try and fight the infection - not really a winning scenario. I could have my foot taken off at the ankle, but doc assured me I'd be back to have more taken off and so on and so forth. Or I could have my leg amputated about 4 or 5 inches below the knee and be done with it. Of course I was worried because I had been told that once they started cutting they didn't stop until they had the whole leg. Doc. assured me that that wasn't the case, and that my leg was in good shape where she wanted to cut. Knowing we couldn't afford it and that I didn't want to go through more surgeries than I had to, I said go for it. 

   I came in on Monday expecting screws and plates and Gayla was told they wouldn't hold and that there was infection in my foot. The only real options were to amputate and where to do it. Gayla reached out to our family, church family, and friends that night as I slept. The next day we had a visit from two pastor friends and a member of our church where I pastor. It was great to talk with them and have our spirits bolstered. The best thing was being bathed in their prayers, we were now ready to face what ever came.

   It was now Wednesday and once more I was being prepped for surgery and once more put deep under. When I came to I was short of just under half of my right my leg. The bad thing this time, I felt the pain. On the other hand the good thing was that I felt pain. You see with all that they did to my foot and leg the only pain I felt was up where two bones were broke. This time there were times when they would ask on a scale of 1 to 10 what is your pain level and I would answer 11 or 12. 

   Life was defiantly going to be different now. 

   Next time adjusting to life in a wheelchair at least for now. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13. The "him" is Jesus Christ and it is on Him that I am leaning. It's not always easy, as a matter of fact sometimes it downright hard, and near impossible and then I remember my Lord Jesus on whom I'm leaning and all He has done for me. And, I've gotta tell ya, Gayla and I feel those prayers of all who are lifting us up and all that is going on with us.
        

Well, That's not Good

 

      If you remember this is what my leg looked like after my first surgery. They did this because they were worried about infection in my foot and ankle. I broke my fibula and tibia about two or three inches above my ankle. Instead of infection it was a case of Chacot Foot, that is a softening of the bones in my foot. 

   After just one day short of a week in the hospital I was sent home with orders to keep my foot elevated and to stay off of it all the time, which I did most of the time. I did try to use the walker a couple of time to walk with without success, as a matter of fact I almost crashed really bad trying to get into the bathroom. I started to fall backwards and out of habit I planted my right foot down pretty hard. 

   The other thing about this apparatus was that it had to be unwrapped every two days and the heel pin openings, the 3 in. or so stapled wound, and around the top two screws. This involved first unwrapping ace bandages, then gauze, and then cleaning the entry points with iodine then this moist type tape to seal it. and then a pad over the wound. Then it was back on with the gauze and ace bandages. Gayla got to where she could do it all in under 40 minutes.

   Now back to the hard step. It wasn't long after that happened that Gayla noticed the tip of a pin sticking out of my ankle. There wasn't very much of it just the tip, but it was enough to make her almost faint. Me I didn't feel a thing, it was in the nephropathy zone on my foot. That was on a Sunday and we had a Tuesday appointment so we let it slide until then. When we got to the doctor's office they took me into x-ray. While I was in there I had several people come in to take a look, they were all surprised I was so calm and felt no pain. Sure enough the x-ray showed that one of the pins in my foot to try and support my ankle had started coming out.

  In the examining room the doctor and the P.A. came in and took a look at the pin tip and the x-ray. Again they asked me on a scale of 1 to 10 what my pain was and I said zero. The doctor got a set of forceps to pull it out and I told her I thought there was so little sticking out she oughta just knock it back in. She didn't think that was very funny and told me they never put things back in like that because of chance of infection. Time now to pull the pin, Gayla who was already looking queezey left the room and then the doc. got down to business. It didn't take much to pull the pin out, just a short pull and it was out. My pain level was still 0 and I thought it was cool watching them pull it out, of course it wasn't that long only about two inches, maybe three. 

   On our visit the next week after my customary x-ray we saw the doctor and she didn't look to happy. She didn't look to happy as she visited with us, and I told Gayla so. I think that Doc. already knew what was going on, but they went ahead and scheduled me for surgery the next week to take the apparatus out and try and pin my two bones or so I thought.

   Next time on to the journey takes an unexpected twist. Until then remember Psalms 34:18 - The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.        

When It Rains It Pours or Does It?

    Good evening. I know it has been awhile since I blogged about my journey in this new phase of my life. Actually my wife and I have experienced a lot in the last four months. Let me tell you I use to praise the Lord that our life had for the most part been trouble free. Oh sure there were the little things like pulled backs, infected knees, and bad hammer toe. But you know nothing really bad, but then I broke two bones in my leg and started on the journey I've been writing about. 

   And then like I posted last week my son, our youngest child at just barely 19 years old took his own life. Now some would say when it rains it pours and to be honest with you I would agree with them if I didn't know that no matter what God is still there with His arms of comfort wrapped tightly around my wife, my daughter, and myself. Does this mean that the tears don't fall freely or that my heart doesn't hurt knowing that I won't see my baby boy in this life any more? No way, nope, ain't happening. I constantly cry out to God, "I miss my boy! Oh God, why?" But here's the thing like Paul tells the church in Thessalonica, 1 Thessalonians 4:14 ~ We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. Also we have the assurance to be absent from the body is to be in the presence of the LORD, Christ Jesus and some day we will see our son once more and when we do he will be in his new and restored body. As for now he is in heaven, a place of no tears, sorrow, pain, and no death; walking with his Granddad, Grammy, and with his Grandpa. So again pain beyond all I could bare, but not beyond the comforting arms of God.

   Okay, now back to the first part of this journey that I am traveling in this time in my life. I believe last time I had finally made it home and into the house. Boy was my home life about to change big time. With the apparatus attached with a long bar and two screws to my right leg I was bed ridden or riding a couch. I had to keep the the whole thing elevated or my toes would turn the unlovest shade of purple. A big disclaimer here, sitting with your leg up on three pillows isn't as comfortable as it sounds. The leg that high starts to put undue pressure on one's bottom and lower back even while sitting on a chair pad and very soft pillow.

   Sure I could try and get into the wheelchair (a chore in and of itself), but again my foot had to be elevated and my chair leg didn't really go high enough. What this meant was that I could only sit in my chair for about 30 minutes at a time. 

   Being confined to the bed or the couch or a potty chair also put a big dampener on taking care of the basics, nough said. This and the doctor visits an hour and a half away every week was my life for four weeks. On a lighter note I did get better at getting in the back seat, well not better; but a little quicker. It still was a painful ride after about 40 minutes, but with wiggling and shifting it was not quite as unbearable. And on an even better note we got to go through the McDonald's drive through for lunch and my wife got to go to a Wal-mart, that's right two of her favorite places. 

   Next time pin problems in my foot and a not so happy looking doctor. Until then may the Lord bless and keep you.   

Heartbroken

     Y'all may have noticed I haven't posted anything in a few weeks. Three weeks ago today our 19 year old son committed suicide. We are not sure why he did and I don't think we will ever know why he did it. So now our baby boy is in heaven with the Lord, but we miss him here with us and we are still dealing with the grief and the hurt. Now you know why and I hope to continue post about my journey with my leg next week. 

Home Again, Home Again...

   Good evening and welcome. In case you haven't look at the other two post of this story let me give you a quick version. I broke my fibula and my tibia, they couldn't put in plates and screws like they normally would. This led to a bar through my heel, two screws going down in to my leg, and a couple of pins in my ankle or there abouts. And so the next chapter of my journey was about to begin. After a week in the hospital and no infection it was time to say goodbye to the great staff at Moore County hospital and head home. 

   Now remember this is what my right foot looked like so a lot was about to change.

   The first big change, getting into the car. This should have been an easy thing right? Little did I know what I was in for. I had been told to stay off my foot and to keep it elevated, and just how I was going to this while riding in the car I had no idea. Gayla and the red team had gone down and scoped things out the day before so they had a plan, I just didn't understand it. We got down to the car and the wheeled the wheelchair up to the back door and now the fun began, not. Picture this a 290 + pound guy with hardware in his leg trying to hop, jump, and pivot on one foot and that was just to get to the door and sit on the seat. Now that I was seated I had to swivel my leg with all the hardware in it and slide across the back seat so that I could prop my leg up on an ice chest, various pillows, and blankets all the while trying to get comfortable (that wasn't happening). 

   The next stop Wal-mart and then McDonald. From there the forever ride from Dumas TX to our house, just a short hour and a half away. Man talk about pain, no matter how I shifted I could make that seat, or my backside feel comfortable and half way between Dalhart and our house it felt as if I were on some medieval torture device. Finally we were home and just my wife and I had to figure how to get me out of the car again not a simple task.

   Out of the car and do we go up the ramp frontwards or backwards? By the way praise the Lord for the church member who lent me her husband's wheelchair and for the ramp in to house. Next question can my wheelchair get through the kitchen door and once in how hard will it be to get out? Well needless to say we were able to get into the house (by going up backwards) and back out of the house. 

  We had people asking us how we were doing and adjusting. The answers was always or almost always the same we were adjusting well, we had to. How were we doing? Well praise the Lord I had no real feeling in my foot, so no real pain there. Up on my leg there was occasional pain but low dose pain pills helped with that. All I can say is that the Lord was working things out in ways we couldn't even begin to imagine. You know our Lord really does work things together for good (Romans 8:25).  

    We were finally home again now what? What was life going to be like now?