At a communion service in the South Pacific Islands, a man kneeling at the altar to receive the emblems suddenly got up and moved to the back of the auditorium with an agitated expression. Later he rejoined the communicants and participated in the sacrament. When asked, following the service, about his action, he revealed that he had seen the man kneeling at the other end of the altar rail who had killed his father. He was so angry in his spirit that he could not partake of the elements until God enabled him to experience a forgiving spirit.
Good morning and welcome to the Panhandle. Reconciliation is it an easy thing for you or do you have a hard time forgiving and forgetting? Well come hang out awhile and lets see what God's Word has to say on this topic.
Reconciliation. Restoration of friendly relationships and of peace where before there had been hostility and alienation. A change from hostility to friendship. It is mutual, it is a change wrought in both parties who have been in an antagonistic relationship. Ordinarily it also includes the removal of the offense which caused the disruption of peace and harmony.
We can and should learn the spirit of reconciliation by the example Christ Jesus set for us. We see it in the relation of God with humanity, when Christ removed the sin barrier between God and mankind by His vicarious sacrifice. The Scripture speaks of Christ Jesus' worthy, substitutionary death which resulted in the reconciliation of God with sinners. We as sinners can have this free gift by faith. This gift is the promised forgiveness and salvation that become our possession by grace; and, finally, reconciliation to God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. (Romans 5:10).
The point of the reconciliation is that God for Christ’s sake now feels toward sinners as though we had never offended Him. The reconciliation is complete and perfect, covering all who call on the name of Christ Jesus, all sinners and all sin.
Because God, through Christ Jesus; has reconciled us we are called on to do like wise with those who we are at odds with. Tonight I would like to look at 6 ways that can help us do this.
1. Take the Initiative
Conflict is seldom resolved by accident. Time does not heal all wounds. Conflict must be intentionally dealt with. Instead of accusing… blaming … begin with humility, even if it’s 90% their fault, confess the 10% that’s yours. Everyone has blind spots… no one is perfect.
2. Listen for the Hurt
Fact - Our nature is to be self centered and stubborn… unwilling to change. More relationships die from inflexibility than anything else. Before honor is humility, are you stuck?
How about, “I am sorry, I was only thinking about myself.”
Hurting people hurt people, when people feel threatened, fearful or robbed of their dignity, they become angry and often lash out. If you want to connect with people, you must start with their needs, not yours.
It is said that we have 2 ears - 1 mouth for a reason, more times than not we are in too big of a hurry to be heard and not a big enough hurry to listen and understand. As hard as it may seem at times the Bible tells us, “Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification.” (Romans 15:2)
3. Consider their perspective
Don’t just look at the situation from your viewpoint. Intentionally switch your focus from your needs to their needs, try to understand their perspective. There is an old proverb that says, “Seek to understand before being understood.”
4. Tell the truth tactfully
Never use the truth as a club to hurt people. Always speak the truth in love. People change faster and easier when the truth is wrapped in love. Truth without love is resisted, with love it is received. Reckless words hurt… wise words bring healing. It’s your choice.
It is said that you never get your point across being cross. That you are never persuasive by being abrasive! We have to learn to attack issues without attacking each other. The goal is not to win but to reconcile.
5. Fix the problem, not the blame
Want an example of how blaming doesn’t work, just look at our political situation.
Even during the cold war, enemies agreed on weapons that would not be used: Weapons of Mass Destruction for example. When we have a issue with someone we have to agree to eliminate the Weapons of Mass Destruction in our conflict.
God is specific about what is out of bounds for us.
Angry rage is out of bounds. Don’t try to intimidate with anger and threats.
Malice is out of bounds. Saying things that intentionally hurt, wound and destroy others.
Slander is out of bounds. Insults, belittling, labeling.
Blaming is out of bounds- Blaming is a form of judging.
6. Focus on reconciliation, not resolution.
There is a big difference between the two-
Reconciliation - to re-establish the relationship
Resolution - to resolve every issue
Some things you are never going to agree on, but you can disagree without being disagreeable… this is when wisdom comes into play. You can have unity without uniformity, we don't have to be exactly the same. We can walk hand in hand without seeing eye to eye, we don't always have to agree with each other. You see we can have reconciliation without resolution of every issue. If you focus in the relationship - often issue become insignificant.
To reconcile, it is not easy; but we are commanded to do so.
Thanks for dropping by, until next week may our Lord and Saviour, Christ Jesus richly bless you and yours.
Biblesurfer
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